It All Started on Row 53: 6 Lessons in Stocking Stuffing

I considered taking a cue from the witty and talented Vic to write a How To Tuesday segment, but it isn't Tuesday. It is Thursday. But you already knew that, didn't you? However, on Tuesday I would have benefited from some helpful tips on how to stuff a stocking without spending $60 at Target.

1. Target has mastered the art of suggestive selling. As I wandered down the candy aisle, I was bombarded by other gadgets that are perfect stocking size. LED light keychain? Yes please!

2. Candy that comes with a game beats candy without a game. So what if I bought nerds for my nerd? It came with a fun book! And who can resist that?

3. Themes are good, but due to #1 themes go out the window. Mr. H and I watched Elf on Monday night and I considered a stocking themed by the elves' 4 food groups: candy, candy cane, candy corn, and syrup. But where would the travel sized Scattegories fit into that?

4. Stockings are a good way to give your husband new stockings. Yep. He needs new socks. I'm embarrassed I put that thought out on the internets, but he does. And socks are big. Well, big enough to fill up a stocking without looking like a cheap-o.

5. If your husband asks if his Christmas present is a puppy, a pair of boxers with puppies will suffice. Again, why am I telling you people this?

6. Stockings are an excellent way to boost our economy by spending $60 at Target. Gee I could have used a gift card. Maybe one of the giveaway variety?

Alternate titles for this post:
How to Kiss Vic's Ass Without Even Trying
Why do I Write these things on the internet?
I Should be a Marketer for Target. Oh wait, I don't want to live in Minnesota.